mind dump

I finnaly decided to finish the site today

It’s a sense of familiarity and exploration, ease of access and unfiltered creativity . Everyone who is mainstream is mainstream and yea they came from the underground but it’s not the same vibe from when they get signed vs when they do it for themselves or their fans. I come back when I’m bored or anxious just a comfort zone whether it’s miles and this side of the scene or the pluggnb side with kankan n them. I went and listened to an old sewer album and then someone called brakence pops up in the recommended and now I been listening to their music for the last 3 days. That’s the beauty of it. The underground is so vast that someone can go unnoticed by you because u were listening to comfort songs that day instead of exploring new artists.

Idk what makes me happy anymore. I’m contempt with everything but what makes me happy are other people, but if I need other people to make me happy how can I love myself. I’m just relying on other people to make me happy instead of myself to do that job.

I miss the person who I once was I’m going to miss the person who I am right now I will miss myself when I’m gone I think I had many opportunities and I missed them all, or I never had an opportunity and I’m looking back at the times I was almost trapped into a lifestyle I didn’t want/need. I hope God has a plan for me cause rn I’m feeling like I’m at the end of the road, doesn’t even feel like I have many choices left. The voices in my head tell me to just keep going until I can’t go no more. But how long can I keep going as I fall deeper and deeper into despair.

Ion wanna be here sometimes